Friday, November 20, 2009

Losing Control

I am not sure why I hold onto things so tightly. I know God is in control of my life yet I still have this huge urge to cling and to hang onto things that I know I should just let go of. I have been going through a hard time for the last year or so. Just ongoing issues with certain family members. I get wrapped up in my anger and I hold onto it with dear life. I feel justified when I have something to hang onto. Like "look at how you hurt me, I CAN be angry..." but when I really think about it it is just easier to forgive (by no means forget) and move on. The people who have wronged me are going to have to answer to God one day and just like me will have to grapple with their sin.

grap⋅ple  [grap-uhl]
–verb
1. to hold or make fast to something, as with a grapple.
2. to use a grapple.
3. to seize another, or each other, in a firm grip, as in wrestling; clinch.

I am learning to let people make their own mistakes because I can't control anyone. As much as I wish I could....I can't. My prayer is that I will be able to handle things in a proper manner and that I won't let my angry get the best of me. That I can be a light in the darkness for the people that have hurt me. I don't want to hang onto this anger anymore because it is a burden. I need to just pray and live my life to the fullest.

1 comment:

  1. I totally understand, and what a relief to have that burden lifted by letting go of it all!!

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