Yesterday.

So, I intended on yesterday being a good day and it did turn out to be one but it was rough. I started of my Sunday like any other frantically getting prepared for church because for some reason I can never ever remember to set an alarm on a Saturday night. I woke up in a rush and ran out the door. I was just feeling icky from the start. It wasn't anyone in particular or any one specific event it was a catalyst of everything that has really gone on in the last month. A hard breakup, a friend who is in need, the continuing struggle with my Dad, stuff at home, not having a job right now and trying to find one, figuring out school, being in debt, the list goes on and on...I cried through church. Now, most of you know that I am an emotional person but this came from the bottom of my heart. Feeling so inadequate lately. That I can't help my friends let alone myself. That is a hard place to be. Kinda stuck in limbo. I am trying to stay busy and work on myself but even that feels dull. I just don't know what to do anymore. All I do is pray and wait and listen...but it is so hard.

He shows me His face...

God has shown me His face this week. In more ways then one and I am so blessed. Words can't describe it. Just the little things...and those little things are big things in my book...


that's it. God is good. more than good... and I am happy.

By Your Side

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

(Chorus 2x)

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

(Chorus 2x)

--Tenth Avenue North "By Your Side"

AMEN a thousand times over. <3

A Matter of Importance

It is funny how somethings that are so important and that I let consume my life really aren't that important at all. I have reached a point in my life where I am happy to accept anything God throws my way because He is in control of my life. I can whine, cry, drag my feet but He really does know best. I, like many others, have been deeply effected by what is going on in Haiti. It breaks my heart to look at pictures and read news articles but I have come across some really powerful pictures. These pictures are of the Haitian people praying and worshiping even in the midst of the storm. It gives me hope. I love these people. I have never met a Haitian person before but I love them. I am reminded that my troubles just aren't the end of the world. That whatever is going on in my life is temporary. And that I am lucky to have so much.

Passion

pas⋅sion

[pash-uhn]

–noun

any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.

Live with more Passion.

Do things that make you feel.

I want to live with more passion.

Changin'

Things are a changin' and man is it awesome. I have been stuck in this rut lately not being able to pull myself out of it. I was tired of hearing well a New Year is coming and everything is going to be different. Really? How can things be so different from one day, month, week, year, even decade to another? But it has been. I have made some personal changes for myself. I want to be a more proactive and a more positive person. I am not going to let others put me down and I sure am not going to let myself put me down. I also want to do more things just for me. I am a giver. But lately I have been giving way more than I have taken in. Not by anyone's fault but my own. It is easy to get stuck in that cycle and truly convince yourself that it is more important to take care of others then yourself. But then my Dad said something that was what I needed to hear at that moment. He said, that I needed to fill myself up so I can have something to give. I guess I was burnt out. I am also taking school a lot more seriously because that in itself is going to really take me where I want to be.

Powhatan Community Church is changing. I invest a lot of my time at PCC. I love the people there and really respect our leadership. But lately things weren't what they use to be and I really think no one could really put there finger on it. I got invited to a Leadership Training meeting with a bunch of leaders from our church. I was really excited to hear Pastor Brian talk about all the things that were going to be changing at PCC this year. And that we are going to make this the best year EVER in the history of our church. And that is exciting to be a part of.

Basically,

It is a new year. And it is going to be a good one. A lot of exciting things are happening to me and my community. Stay tuned! (=

A New Year...

and positivity is the word.